Already got asked if we're dating
You just made me feel so damn special
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
