All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
