Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
