she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she pinky promised me she was 18
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize