her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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