She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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