i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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