Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
