It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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