We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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