bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize