forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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