I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
