she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
