I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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