Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
