I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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