your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
