Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
