the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
