Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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