This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
