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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.

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• (530): View more from California

  My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Vomiting outside the employee entrance

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Pass the awkward sauce please.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm drowning in it here

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Who wants vodka and apple sauce

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.

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