absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
