you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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