All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
