you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize