his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize