Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
