i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
