I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
