Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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