I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
