3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
