Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
