Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
