My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
