:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
