We won't sleep together?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Fuck appropriateness.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
