I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
