escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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