it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
