11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this is an emotional support booty call
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
