nut hugger
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
