Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
