She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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