if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
