That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
