Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
