This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
