I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
