It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
