Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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