You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
