Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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