I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
