i would punch a child for taco bell
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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