A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
