I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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