you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
